Do you call it a sub or a grinder? Those are the only options, people. Don't say "hero". Don't even think about saying "sammy".

Yankee Magazine Asking the Tough Question: Sub or Grinder?

Best thing is article is an excerpt from an original piece published in 1990. Talk about timeless journalism!

And Best Comment Award goes to wild man Norm Aabye:

Born and raised in Connecticut, we always called them grinders. In our "senior" years, we moved to rural Pennsylvania. I called a local pizza restaurant and asked if I could order a meatball and sausage "grinder". The voice on the other end of the phone said, "What?" I quickly hung up, wondering what I had said wrong. I then looked at the little menu I had at the house and found out that our here they're called "hoagies"….not grinders! We had a good laugh and learned about local lingo when it comes to food names.

Yeah, calling any stranger and using the word "grinder" is generally considered a high risk activity.